Heartache

I breathe
hoping to release the pain
instead you steal my sighs
and leave me gasping for air

I reach out against my will
but the weight of emptiness is too heavy
for my hands to hold
so I drop it
watch as silence hits the ground
with an inaudible crash
and breaks into a billion stifled screams

sometimes I forget how it feels not to need you

lately
I have been dragging my fingers across the texture
of your memory
only to hurt myself
pins and needles masochistically concealed
in the folds of silken sheets

in the space of a skipped heartbeat
and the catch of a breath
I found myself dying
and being born again
more broken than before

but the steel feathers and claws of a phoenix
rising from the ash
is simply armor to protect
the charred heart
that lies beneath

I fly away…
seeking solitude
but somehow
that empty space beside me
reminds me of you

and you left me
but you never left me

it’s between the lines
of unwritten love poems
that you learn…

heartache isn’t a metaphor