No I'm not talking about my kids even though they are precious to me. I'm actually talking about my car. Or what used to be my car.
Typical day out and about getting lots of errands out of the way. I was out on the highway and looking to take the next exit. That's when it happened. Someone else was in a big hurry to beat me to the exit. They sped up and tried to pass me but ended up clipping the front of my car which pushed me into the barrier. I hit hard enough to bounce off and spin around in the opposite direction.
I was lucky and it's something that I remind myself of every day. My car didn't fare as well. Lost a headlight and the front quarter panel was destroyed. That would have been fixable if not for the frame being bent.
I loved that car. We've been everywhere together in the last 12 years. There were a lot of memories tied up in that car and I'm going to really miss it.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Busy, Busy, Busy
I'm way behind in posting. Things have been hectic around here lately. I've got to post soon, today I hope, about:
teenage girls and pms (grrrrr)
music
the end of the school year (God help us all)
first jobs
And more. You get the idea.
teenage girls and pms (grrrrr)
music
the end of the school year (God help us all)
first jobs
And more. You get the idea.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Say What?
The sad thing is you know someone is going to be stupid enough to buy some. OMG I've got to get some of that diet water cause you know water has like a bazillion calories!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Ugh
One house + 3 people (2 of which are pack rats, and I'm not one of those two) = A horrendous amount of junk taking up space in the basement.
If I'm not back in a week send out a search party would ya?
If I'm not back in a week send out a search party would ya?
Friday, June 1, 2007
Feast One Hundred & Forty Six
Appetizer
Name something you think is “the best.”
More than 3 hours of sleep in a night. The combination of insomnia and two teenagers makes that nearly impossible.
Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 highest), how stressed are you today?
7 I have two brand new drivers so I don't see that number dropping anytime soon.
Salad
What kind of cleanser do you use to wash your face?
Neutrogena
Main Course
Tonight is a blue moon! What is something that you believe only happens “once in a blue moon.”
My kids volunteering to do something around the house.
Dessert
When was the last time it rained where you live?
Yesterday afternoon.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Imagination
I fondly remember the Zork games. In fact I bought the Infocom collection on cd a few years back and pull them out from time to time for a little text adventure fix.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
5 Question Meme
I've had my 5 questions from RaJ for a few days now. I was ready to answer them immediately but decided to use them as bribery against myself. I had to get a little tough with myself to...You can't answer the questions until the laundry is done, the floors are mopped and the checkbook is balanced. God I can be such a bitch sometimes. Chores done and now for a little fun.
1. In a recent comment on your weblog, you said reading Tolkien is “much more enjoyable” than watching the LOTR trilogy. How so?
Quite simply put our imagination makes for a much richer experience than you would ever get from a movie. There is always a greater depth of detail to be found in a book.
2. ‘Gray’ or ‘grey’? Now – be prepared to “think fast” – what’s the first thing that comes to mind when you see that word in either form?
I prefer grey. The first thing that comes to mind is a sense of aloneness.
3. Using prose or verse, write a 100-word (max.) micro-saga which evokes ‘grey’ (or gray). In other words, a way-short story that brings to mind a sense or feeling of grayness. Also please pretend this is a question instead of a challenge.
I hide in white shadows blending in with the air
hope you don’t see me as I try to disappear
I walk a lone figure beneath the grey sun
you walk behind me I try not to run
I dream without color, a black and white scene
it reveals all that is true, yet I don’t know what it means
I live in a grey world where happiness is rare
watch life as she passes as I try not to stare….
and pretend not to care
4. Who is one of your favorite composers / musicians, and how did you come to appreciate them? If you were trying to interest someone else in their work, what would you recommend for starters?
I love Mozart. My great grandma was a very big fan of classical music. I spent a lot of time with her when I was very young and she passed her love of Mozart on to me.
I know there are a lot of people who think Requiem is overplayed but it has an amazing amount of depth and emotion.
5. You find an enchanted Day-Timer, a book consisting of two facing pages with 48 lines. These represent the 24 hours of one day divided into 30 minute increments. Since the book is enchanted it can make its entries come to pass, but it can only be used once. And as so often happens with enchanted things, all that will remain at day’s end will be memories e.g. carriage reverts to pumpkin, 9AM Lotto winnings evaporate etc. How would you fill-in the time slots if you were planning A Perfect Day for yourself?
This question is one that I've struggled with a bit. There are such possibilities. That being said I think I've finally got it.
7-9AM Flying. No destination just a chance to swoop and soar. Haven't most people spent at least a bit of time imagining what it would be like to fly?
9-12PM Would be spent visiting some of the places I've always wanted to see. England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales
12-1PM Lunch with Grandfather who passed away when I was 5.
1-3PM A special concert presented by Mozart. To be able to see and hear him play would be beyond incredible.
3-5PM There are times in your life that you wonder how things would have been different if you had only made a different choice. This would be the time to explore alternate endings.
5-9PM Time spent exploring the worlds of my favorite books. A chance to walk through the familiar areas of Pern, Xanth and Rivendell.
The rest of my time would be spent in peaceful slumber.
6. (Bonus question) Would you have an easier or harder time filling in the enchanted Day-Timer for someone else – your children, for example?
It would be next to impossible to fill in the timer for anyone else. Even my own children who I know as well as it is possible to know someone. There is just no way to completely know anyone else's dreams.
Great questions RaJ. I had a lot of fun answering them.
1. In a recent comment on your weblog, you said reading Tolkien is “much more enjoyable” than watching the LOTR trilogy. How so?
Quite simply put our imagination makes for a much richer experience than you would ever get from a movie. There is always a greater depth of detail to be found in a book.
2. ‘Gray’ or ‘grey’? Now – be prepared to “think fast” – what’s the first thing that comes to mind when you see that word in either form?
I prefer grey. The first thing that comes to mind is a sense of aloneness.
3. Using prose or verse, write a 100-word (max.) micro-saga which evokes ‘grey’ (or gray). In other words, a way-short story that brings to mind a sense or feeling of grayness. Also please pretend this is a question instead of a challenge.
I hide in white shadows blending in with the air
hope you don’t see me as I try to disappear
I walk a lone figure beneath the grey sun
you walk behind me I try not to run
I dream without color, a black and white scene
it reveals all that is true, yet I don’t know what it means
I live in a grey world where happiness is rare
watch life as she passes as I try not to stare….
and pretend not to care
4. Who is one of your favorite composers / musicians, and how did you come to appreciate them? If you were trying to interest someone else in their work, what would you recommend for starters?
I love Mozart. My great grandma was a very big fan of classical music. I spent a lot of time with her when I was very young and she passed her love of Mozart on to me.
I know there are a lot of people who think Requiem is overplayed but it has an amazing amount of depth and emotion.
5. You find an enchanted Day-Timer, a book consisting of two facing pages with 48 lines. These represent the 24 hours of one day divided into 30 minute increments. Since the book is enchanted it can make its entries come to pass, but it can only be used once. And as so often happens with enchanted things, all that will remain at day’s end will be memories e.g. carriage reverts to pumpkin, 9AM Lotto winnings evaporate etc. How would you fill-in the time slots if you were planning A Perfect Day for yourself?
This question is one that I've struggled with a bit. There are such possibilities. That being said I think I've finally got it.
7-9AM Flying. No destination just a chance to swoop and soar. Haven't most people spent at least a bit of time imagining what it would be like to fly?
9-12PM Would be spent visiting some of the places I've always wanted to see. England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales
12-1PM Lunch with Grandfather who passed away when I was 5.
1-3PM A special concert presented by Mozart. To be able to see and hear him play would be beyond incredible.
3-5PM There are times in your life that you wonder how things would have been different if you had only made a different choice. This would be the time to explore alternate endings.
5-9PM Time spent exploring the worlds of my favorite books. A chance to walk through the familiar areas of Pern, Xanth and Rivendell.
The rest of my time would be spent in peaceful slumber.
6. (Bonus question) Would you have an easier or harder time filling in the enchanted Day-Timer for someone else – your children, for example?
It would be next to impossible to fill in the timer for anyone else. Even my own children who I know as well as it is possible to know someone. There is just no way to completely know anyone else's dreams.
Great questions RaJ. I had a lot of fun answering them.
Monday, May 28, 2007
100 Words
The editors of the American Heritage® dictionaries have compiled a list of 100 words they recommend every high school graduate should know."The words we suggest," says senior editor Steven Kleinedler, "are not meant to be exhaustive but are a benchmark against which graduates and their parents can measure themselves. If you are able to use these words correctly, you are likely to have a superior command of the language."
The following is the entire list of 100 words:
abjure abrogate abstemious acumen antebellum auspicious belie bellicose bowdlerize chicanery chromosome churlish circumlocution circumnavigate deciduous deleterious diffident enervate enfranchise epiphany equinox euro evanescent expurgate facetious fatuous feckless fiduciary filibuster gamete gauche gerrymander hegemony hemoglobin homogeneous hubris hypotenuse impeach incognito incontrovertible inculcate infrastructure interpolate irony jejune kinetic kowtow laissez faire lexicon loquacious | lugubrious metamorphosis mitosis moiety nanotechnology nihilism nomenclature nonsectarian notarize obsequious oligarchy omnipotent orthography oxidize parabola paradigm parameter pecuniary photosynthesis plagiarize plasma polymer precipitous quasar quotidian recapitulate reciprocal reparation respiration sanguine soliloquy subjugate suffragist supercilious tautology taxonomy tectonic tempestuous thermodynamics totalitarian unctuous usurp vacuous vehement vortex winnow wrought xenophobe yeoman ziggurat |
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Cause I'm the Mean Mom
The boy brought friends home with him from school today. One of them asked me when I'd be buying him a car seeing as how he's old enough to drive now. Yeah, about that..... Never! His friends were shocked at that answer. The boy.... not so much.
I've told my two for as long as I can remember that when they were old enough they would have to earn the money to buy their own cars, pay for their own insurance, gas, etc.
I don't think I'm being mean or depriving them. I think that anything you have to work for you value more. It means that much more for you to be able to say you earned the money and paid for it yourself.
I've told my two for as long as I can remember that when they were old enough they would have to earn the money to buy their own cars, pay for their own insurance, gas, etc.
I don't think I'm being mean or depriving them. I think that anything you have to work for you value more. It means that much more for you to be able to say you earned the money and paid for it yourself.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Router Problems
I had major problems with my connection earlier in the week. I could have panicked. Ok, I admit I did. Which was closely followed by begging and pleading with the computer gods. And when that didn't work I resorted to cursing and throwing a tantrum.
Those options didn't do a thing for me. So I did the next best thing. I sent out a cry for help. I've always been rather fond of Star Wars and when I sent the email one line popped into my mind
"Help me Shumpy-Wan you're my only hope"
He spent the day emailing back and forth with me. And in the end helped me get everything running the way it should.
Thanks again Shumpy.
Those options didn't do a thing for me. So I did the next best thing. I sent out a cry for help. I've always been rather fond of Star Wars and when I sent the email one line popped into my mind
"Help me Shumpy-Wan you're my only hope"
He spent the day emailing back and forth with me. And in the end helped me get everything running the way it should.
Thanks again Shumpy.
I Can Be As Random As The Next Guy
RaJ tagged me with a random meme. I'm a bit behind on posting my answers. I apologize for that. It's been a crazy week here.
1. I can only drink water if it is at room temperature. Anything else makes me gag.
2. My kids can make me laugh and cry like no one else in the world.
3. I reread Tolkien at least once a year.
4. I would walk barefoot through broken glass before I'd ever touch a snake.
5. I'm embarrassed to say that I actually like doing the laundry
6. It's taken a long time and a lot of work but I'm finally at a place in my life when I can say I'm fairly happy with who I am.
7. I won a laptop in an online contest.
8. I can't drive a stick shift to save my life.
I won't tag anyone. Instead if you feel like doing your own leave me a comment so I can go read it.
1. I can only drink water if it is at room temperature. Anything else makes me gag.
2. My kids can make me laugh and cry like no one else in the world.
3. I reread Tolkien at least once a year.
4. I would walk barefoot through broken glass before I'd ever touch a snake.
5. I'm embarrassed to say that I actually like doing the laundry
6. It's taken a long time and a lot of work but I'm finally at a place in my life when I can say I'm fairly happy with who I am.
7. I won a laptop in an online contest.
8. I can't drive a stick shift to save my life.
I won't tag anyone. Instead if you feel like doing your own leave me a comment so I can go read it.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Heartache
I breathe
hoping to release the pain
instead you steal my sighs
and leave me gasping for air
I reach out against my will
but the weight of emptiness is too heavy
for my hands to hold
so I drop it
watch as silence hits the ground
with an inaudible crash
and breaks into a billion stifled screams
sometimes I forget how it feels not to need you
lately
I have been dragging my fingers across the texture
of your memory
only to hurt myself
pins and needles masochistically concealed
in the folds of silken sheets
in the space of a skipped heartbeat
and the catch of a breath
I found myself dying
and being born again
more broken than before
but the steel feathers and claws of a phoenix
rising from the ash
is simply armor to protect
the charred heart
that lies beneath
I fly away…
seeking solitude
but somehow
that empty space beside me
reminds me of you
and you left me
but you never left me
it’s between the lines
of unwritten love poems
that you learn…
heartache isn’t a metaphor
hoping to release the pain
instead you steal my sighs
and leave me gasping for air
I reach out against my will
but the weight of emptiness is too heavy
for my hands to hold
so I drop it
watch as silence hits the ground
with an inaudible crash
and breaks into a billion stifled screams
sometimes I forget how it feels not to need you
lately
I have been dragging my fingers across the texture
of your memory
only to hurt myself
pins and needles masochistically concealed
in the folds of silken sheets
in the space of a skipped heartbeat
and the catch of a breath
I found myself dying
and being born again
more broken than before
but the steel feathers and claws of a phoenix
rising from the ash
is simply armor to protect
the charred heart
that lies beneath
I fly away…
seeking solitude
but somehow
that empty space beside me
reminds me of you
and you left me
but you never left me
it’s between the lines
of unwritten love poems
that you learn…
heartache isn’t a metaphor
Sunday, May 20, 2007
First Cut Is The Deepest
In the words of the immortal song "breaking up is hard to do." But I'm here to tell you that it is that much harder watching your children going through it for the first time.
At almost 16 my son has dated before but never anything serious until a few months ago. As an adult you know that with the beginning of a relationship there also has to come an end. And endings hurt.
As a parent your first instinct is to make it all better. But somethings you just can't fix. There are life lessons that have to be learned along the way no matter how painful they might be.
The best that I could do for him tonight was hold him while he cried. It broke my heart to see him hurting so much. I can tell him that it won't always hurt this much and that time heals all wounds but that is something that he is going to have to discover for himself.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Photos
a moment captured in black in white
is dyed in blue when examined up close
it feels translucent and warm
or stings your fingertips
depending on the memory
looks like a fuzzy snapshot
or a brilliant sunset
definitely something slightly blurred
but captivating and dissipating
like the scent of soap
colored pebbles of thoughts
collect like dust
in several shades of shadows and pastels
we keep the ones that make us smile
and intend to toss the others
but somehow they end up lying in a box
underneath our beds collecting dust
in several shades of disappointment
and all the ways we hurt ourselves
picking scabs like flowers
so we can stuff them into a vase
and watch them die for no good reason
except to remind ourselves of something beautiful
so that we may go on.
is dyed in blue when examined up close
it feels translucent and warm
or stings your fingertips
depending on the memory
looks like a fuzzy snapshot
or a brilliant sunset
definitely something slightly blurred
but captivating and dissipating
like the scent of soap
colored pebbles of thoughts
collect like dust
in several shades of shadows and pastels
we keep the ones that make us smile
and intend to toss the others
but somehow they end up lying in a box
underneath our beds collecting dust
in several shades of disappointment
and all the ways we hurt ourselves
picking scabs like flowers
so we can stuff them into a vase
and watch them die for no good reason
except to remind ourselves of something beautiful
so that we may go on.
What were they thinking?
Seeing as how I'm a woman and wouldn't be much interested in bagels that are like vaginas...I'd have to say this ad is aimed at the male audience.
Adventures in Laundry
Yesterday I decided to do some laundry. The rule around here is if it isn't in the hamper it doesn't get washed. Now my two are really terrible about putting dirty clothes in the hamper. In fact in the last two weeks I think they both had a pair of socks and maybe 1 shirt each in there. There has been a lot of grumbling about how they have nothing clean to wear. Not my fault. They know the rules.
I decided yesterday to be nice and venture into their rooms in search of dirty clothes. Usually their bedroom doors stay closed in an effort to preserve my sanity. You see I like things to be clean and their rooms are in another galaxy as far as clean goes. If their doors are open I'm liable to develop a twitch looking at the mess in there.
Daughter's room...you're lucky if you can see the floor. I know it's there. I saw it when we moved in many years ago. Her room is a mecca of old food containers, magazines and mounds of clothes on every possible surface. At least her dirty clothes were easy to find. Especially the bra dangling from the Chinese lantern.
Son's room....an odor hits you the minute the door is opened. The aroma of fetid gym socks and old pizza. Yum. Finding his laundry requires a bit of work. Excavating filthy clothes out from under mounds of cds, skateboards and various amps.
His room did reveal an answer to a question that has been plaguing me. What the hell happened to my Victoria's Secret catalog. I had planned on ordering from it this month but now ...... EWW, I think not!!
I decided yesterday to be nice and venture into their rooms in search of dirty clothes. Usually their bedroom doors stay closed in an effort to preserve my sanity. You see I like things to be clean and their rooms are in another galaxy as far as clean goes. If their doors are open I'm liable to develop a twitch looking at the mess in there.
Daughter's room...you're lucky if you can see the floor. I know it's there. I saw it when we moved in many years ago. Her room is a mecca of old food containers, magazines and mounds of clothes on every possible surface. At least her dirty clothes were easy to find. Especially the bra dangling from the Chinese lantern.
Son's room....an odor hits you the minute the door is opened. The aroma of fetid gym socks and old pizza. Yum. Finding his laundry requires a bit of work. Excavating filthy clothes out from under mounds of cds, skateboards and various amps.
His room did reveal an answer to a question that has been plaguing me. What the hell happened to my Victoria's Secret catalog. I had planned on ordering from it this month but now ...... EWW, I think not!!
Friday, May 18, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
What's playing on my Ipod
Just a small sample of the some of the song on replay on my ipod this week.
Evanescence - Going Under
Rascal Flatts - Stand
Benny Goodman - Stompin' at the Savoy
Herb Alpert - Rise
HIM - Pretending
Jimmy Buffett - Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes
Mozart - Turkish March
Pearl Jam - Last Kiss
Puddle Of Mudd - Blurry
Seether - Truth
How's that for an eclectic mix?
Evanescence - Going Under
Rascal Flatts - Stand
Benny Goodman - Stompin' at the Savoy
Herb Alpert - Rise
HIM - Pretending
Jimmy Buffett - Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes
Mozart - Turkish March
Pearl Jam - Last Kiss
Puddle Of Mudd - Blurry
Seether - Truth
How's that for an eclectic mix?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
New Drugs
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.
Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.
Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Driver's Ed
I'd like to apologize in advance to the denizens of our nation's roadways. In 9 days I shall unleash upon you a terror the likes of which you've never seen before. Well at least since the last 16 year old hit the road with a shiny new driver's license.
To say it's been difficult to teach the terrible two to drive is an understatement. It's taken a lot of cursing and alcohol to recover from each and every lesson. It's amazing to see the difference in their driving styles.
The girl child....honor student and yet she still has problems with left and right. Turn left up here. No the other left! Brake, brake, BRAKE! Dammit that's the gas. BRAKE!!
The boy child....daredevil believes himself to be invincible. To busy checking himself out in the mirror or changing a cd instead of keeping his eyes on the road. Believes that faster is better. I've spent most of my time with him slamming on an imaginary brake or yelling at him to slow down.
They did pretty well tonight during another practice session. It's a scary to think of them out on the road on their own though. Tonight at the end of his driving lesson my son wanted to do donuts in the parking lot. I let him and then I showed him the correct way to do them. Cause I'm cool like that.
Brace yourself America they're heading your way. Mwah ha ha!
To say it's been difficult to teach the terrible two to drive is an understatement. It's taken a lot of cursing and alcohol to recover from each and every lesson. It's amazing to see the difference in their driving styles.
The girl child....honor student and yet she still has problems with left and right. Turn left up here. No the other left! Brake, brake, BRAKE! Dammit that's the gas. BRAKE!!
The boy child....daredevil believes himself to be invincible. To busy checking himself out in the mirror or changing a cd instead of keeping his eyes on the road. Believes that faster is better. I've spent most of my time with him slamming on an imaginary brake or yelling at him to slow down.
They did pretty well tonight during another practice session. It's a scary to think of them out on the road on their own though. Tonight at the end of his driving lesson my son wanted to do donuts in the parking lot. I let him and then I showed him the correct way to do them. Cause I'm cool like that.
Brace yourself America they're heading your way. Mwah ha ha!
Beautiful Thought
We all have three eyes. Two for looking out and one for looking in. Why would we want to look in when everything is happening 'out there'? Because the treasure we seek is inside, not outside. What is treasure? Beauty, truth, peace, happiness. You already have what you seek. You already are stunningly beautiful. You are already peaceful and loving. How come you don't know this? Simple, you never look inwards, beyond superficial memories or recent experiences, so you never see your own riches. Take a moment to stop, look in and see. Don't rush. Don't search. Just look. And be aware.
Wheeze
Allergy season has hit full force. It looks beautiful outside but there is a price to pay. (Isn't there always?) It's virtually impossible to play the clarinet when you can't breathe through your nose. Or as my son says "it sucks when you can't blow."
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Empty
And finally the words stopped
and the feelings vanished like smoke
and I was left alone with only myself
again
…and the bitter scent of inspiration lost
No words to write
but even if there were
no strength left to force them on the page
Words should never be forced anyway
And I feel nothing
for the heartbreaking anguish of the empty page
Which even now stares at me with hope
and silently cries out to be filled
Like my heart
I used to write poetry and feel every word
they reached out like hands to wring my tear stained heart
Until it was dry
so that now I have nothing left
Because I've given it all to you
And you didn’t even care
Enough to read them
And now I sit here
with this incessant need to create
Chasing hopelessly after words
That dance always beyond my reach
and arise from emotions
I only wished I felt
and the feelings vanished like smoke
and I was left alone with only myself
again
…and the bitter scent of inspiration lost
No words to write
but even if there were
no strength left to force them on the page
Words should never be forced anyway
And I feel nothing
for the heartbreaking anguish of the empty page
Which even now stares at me with hope
and silently cries out to be filled
Like my heart
I used to write poetry and feel every word
they reached out like hands to wring my tear stained heart
Until it was dry
so that now I have nothing left
Because I've given it all to you
And you didn’t even care
Enough to read them
And now I sit here
with this incessant need to create
Chasing hopelessly after words
That dance always beyond my reach
and arise from emotions
I only wished I felt
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Meet The Inmates
It occurred to me that I haven't properly introduced myself. Oops. Yeah, let me take care of that for you now.
I'm a single Mom of twins who will turn 16 in a few weeks. One boy and one girl. That means I'm stuck between the testosterone surges and PMS. Of the two I have to admit the PMSing one scares me the most. Good God it's like living with something from the Exorcist. My only solace is that one day she will have, I hope, a daughter of her own. Mwah ha ha!!
My kids and my music are what keeps me going every day. I look at the two of them and wonder when they grew up so damn fast. They are both incredible people that I'm proud, most days, to claim as my own. I'm sure you'll hear eventually about some of the other days.
I'm a single Mom of twins who will turn 16 in a few weeks. One boy and one girl. That means I'm stuck between the testosterone surges and PMS. Of the two I have to admit the PMSing one scares me the most. Good God it's like living with something from the Exorcist. My only solace is that one day she will have, I hope, a daughter of her own. Mwah ha ha!!
My kids and my music are what keeps me going every day. I look at the two of them and wonder when they grew up so damn fast. They are both incredible people that I'm proud, most days, to claim as my own. I'm sure you'll hear eventually about some of the other days.
Monday, May 7, 2007
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Untitled
And sometimes there are things I can't say out loud
but paper always listens and would never betray
And sometimes it just hurts so much
Only words will absorb the pain
And sometimes I feel so incredibly empty
Only my self-indulgent poetry fills up the space
so the next time you feel you want to criticize
please, just realize...
that this is all that I have
and I know I can't write
But at least allow me to try
And if I want to call this poetry
The least you could do is pretend with me
but paper always listens and would never betray
And sometimes it just hurts so much
Only words will absorb the pain
And sometimes I feel so incredibly empty
Only my self-indulgent poetry fills up the space
so the next time you feel you want to criticize
please, just realize...
that this is all that I have
and I know I can't write
But at least allow me to try
And if I want to call this poetry
The least you could do is pretend with me
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
One of those kinds of days
It's been one of those days. The kind when you are better off just staying in bed. When anything and everything that could possibly go wrong does. If I didn't know better I'd think it was Friday the 13th.
The day started off innocently enough. I needed to make a run to the store for coffee. Can't start the day properly without my coffee. Got in my car and off I went. The store was in sight when my car made a noise that I've never heard before. A thunk, squeal, THUNK noise. (Can you tell I'm not particularly mechanically inclined?) I did manage to get it into a parking lot before it completely died. I had it towed to the garage and I'm waiting to hear how much it's going to cost to fix.
So after I had the car towed I walked over to the store to get my coffee. The skies were really dark and I was hoping to make it home before the rain started. Yeah. That'll happen. I bet you can guess... I ended up getting soaked.
Dried off, changed clothes and made my coffee. Headed for the living room so I could check my email. That's when I noticed the dog with a guilty look on her little face. Two more steps toward the living room and the odor hit me. A simple accident wasn't good enough for the kind of day I was having. She had to step in it and then jump up on my couch and leave little poopy paw prints up and down the all the cushions.
I love days like this. (insert sarcastic eye roll here) The day did end on a high note, actually several, that more than made up for the rest. Some friends stopped by and we had an impromptu jam session. Nothing like good friends and good music to lift your spirits.
The day started off innocently enough. I needed to make a run to the store for coffee. Can't start the day properly without my coffee. Got in my car and off I went. The store was in sight when my car made a noise that I've never heard before. A thunk, squeal, THUNK noise. (Can you tell I'm not particularly mechanically inclined?) I did manage to get it into a parking lot before it completely died. I had it towed to the garage and I'm waiting to hear how much it's going to cost to fix.
So after I had the car towed I walked over to the store to get my coffee. The skies were really dark and I was hoping to make it home before the rain started. Yeah. That'll happen. I bet you can guess... I ended up getting soaked.
Dried off, changed clothes and made my coffee. Headed for the living room so I could check my email. That's when I noticed the dog with a guilty look on her little face. Two more steps toward the living room and the odor hit me. A simple accident wasn't good enough for the kind of day I was having. She had to step in it and then jump up on my couch and leave little poopy paw prints up and down the all the cushions.
I love days like this. (insert sarcastic eye roll here) The day did end on a high note, actually several, that more than made up for the rest. Some friends stopped by and we had an impromptu jam session. Nothing like good friends and good music to lift your spirits.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Just a Thought
Have you ever noticed how there is a musical quality to every noise? The steady thump of windshield wipers, the soft whisper of rain as it falls and the sad mournful sound of the wind are just a few that come to mind.
To me it's a reminder that no matter how isolated or alone we might feel we are all a part of the same song. We are out of harmony and clash some times. But when we play together we resonate. We sing together and it's a beautiful thing.
To me it's a reminder that no matter how isolated or alone we might feel we are all a part of the same song. We are out of harmony and clash some times. But when we play together we resonate. We sing together and it's a beautiful thing.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
The Importance of Being Penis
Who would have thought that spam could be good comedy material? I got one tonight that I'm still laughing about.
Our pills will increase the size of your penis and cure importance too.
Yeah cause everyone needs to be cured of importance.
Our pills will increase the size of your penis and cure importance too.
Yeah cause everyone needs to be cured of importance.
Looking Back
This whole blogging thing has me thinking of a thousand and one different things that I'd like to write about. I'm thinking I'll just take it one at a time though.
High school has been on my mind a lot today. I graduated way back in 19 mumble-mumble. Long enough ago that I can look back at that time without feeling all of the teen-age anguish that went with it.
Remember the "in crowd" in school? You know the ones who drove the cool cars, had just the right style of clothes and always knew what or who was the latest in cool. The ones that you hated but secretly wanted to be just like. Yeah, them. That wasn't me.
I was the band geek. For some reason the in crowd couldn't see the uber coolness that was and is the clarinet. Imagine that! Not content with just being the band geek I was also the drama nerd. Yeah not the cool performer type. That wasn't me. I was the clipboard carrying stage manager.
It hurt being the odd ball back then but it's served me well in life. There's a lot to be said for not being afraid to be who you are. Going against the crowd is a character building experience.
High school has been on my mind a lot today. I graduated way back in 19 mumble-mumble. Long enough ago that I can look back at that time without feeling all of the teen-age anguish that went with it.
Remember the "in crowd" in school? You know the ones who drove the cool cars, had just the right style of clothes and always knew what or who was the latest in cool. The ones that you hated but secretly wanted to be just like. Yeah, them. That wasn't me.
I was the band geek. For some reason the in crowd couldn't see the uber coolness that was and is the clarinet. Imagine that! Not content with just being the band geek I was also the drama nerd. Yeah not the cool performer type. That wasn't me. I was the clipboard carrying stage manager.
It hurt being the odd ball back then but it's served me well in life. There's a lot to be said for not being afraid to be who you are. Going against the crowd is a character building experience.
Friday, April 27, 2007
First Step
I've spent a long time reading other blogs and thinking "I could do that." But somehow the time never felt right before. It's been on my mind a lot lately so I finally worked up the courage to take the plunge.
Music plays a huge part in my life. I started playing the clarinet in grade school and continued into high school playing in the honors orchestra. Along the way I added in the piano and guitar but the clarinet has always been my first love.
In the last few years I've had to deal with deep depression. Along the way I stopped playing and became a virtual recluse. I went out as little as possible and along the way I lost interest in everything that had mattered so much to me. The clarinet and guitar were packed away and I spent my time watching tv and surfing the internet.
Life is slowly improving and I've begun playing again. It feels right. Like a huge part of me that was missing is back again. I'm not ready to go out and play in public anytime soon but one of these days it will happen.
Music plays a huge part in my life. I started playing the clarinet in grade school and continued into high school playing in the honors orchestra. Along the way I added in the piano and guitar but the clarinet has always been my first love.
In the last few years I've had to deal with deep depression. Along the way I stopped playing and became a virtual recluse. I went out as little as possible and along the way I lost interest in everything that had mattered so much to me. The clarinet and guitar were packed away and I spent my time watching tv and surfing the internet.
Life is slowly improving and I've begun playing again. It feels right. Like a huge part of me that was missing is back again. I'm not ready to go out and play in public anytime soon but one of these days it will happen.
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